I've Got a Crush.

On Mandy Moore. She's all grown up now, and her music is too. My favorite is "Gardenia," which you should check out. I'm the one who likes to make love on the floor. She's a pop tart no more, folks. And you know what? I'm not embarrassed. I like Mandy Moore. I like Mandy Moore's music. There! I said it. Doesn't it just feel better to be honest?

I'm looking forward to looking back on these days
And I'm fine, but I'm not okay
I'm looking forward to looking back on these days

That's from her song, "Looking Forward to Looking Back," and it's been in my head all day. I know this experience is one that I'll be able to look back on. I'll be able to look back and remember how hard it was, how alone I was (because it is something everyone goes through alone), how every day felt. Knowing that there will be a moment where I can look back helps because it means I'll make it to that point somehow, some day.

What do you do when you're going through a rough time?

Last spring, I had a very bad day and bought myself an ice cream cake. I like ice cream cake, and I normally don't eat sugar so that was quite a treat. I got mad at The X, though, when he ate my icing flowers. Nobody eats my icing flowers on my "I had a bad day" cake!

Sometimes I buy myself a pair of shoes. This explains why I own too many to fit in my closet. Sometimes I dance around in my living room. I still have my ballet slippers, and I keep them for just this reason. I am a silly girl indeed.

Sometimes I get my nails done or do them myself. I also like to cuddle up in my jammies on the couch watching a good movie with my puppy. Or I take a bubble bath and drink a glass of red wine. I listen to good music. I cook something delicious. I write a blog or read something for fun. I really love daisies, they're my favorite, and every once in awhile, I need flowers so I buy myself some. I call a good friend. Or my mommy. I look at pictures of fun times and people I love.

I always go back to people. That's what helps me most of all. I value my alone time - I need it and sometimes even crave it - but it's the people in my life that lift me on bad days and through bad times. I am loved. And the people I love are truly amazing. God did not design us to live life on our own. He said it was not good. We need companions. And I have the best of the bunch in the boat with me. When I do look back, that's what I'll see - the people that helped me through it step by step.