Ok. It's seriously been a long time since I've written anything. Sorry 'bout that. I was obsessing and spending all my free time on something for awhile. Then I went to the beach to wash it all off. Now I'm back in the real world, though much tanner. I look good tan. If I do say so myself.
A few weeks ago, I had a birthday. I wanted to come up with a long list of all the things I learned in the past year, all the ways that I've grown, that I'm a little brighter, a little better. Though certainly not done yet. And that's been hard. This is the list I came up with.
- Tuesday is a day that needed a little something. An ordinary, mostly overlooked day. No one's favorite. It needed something special, and it got it. Now Tuesday will never be the same to me. And I'll miss it very much.
- I get myself down more than I should. Thinking about ways I should be better. But what I should focus on is that it's awesome that I want to be better. I care about being better. And that's more than some people who sail through life without ever stopping to gauge where they are.
- I do not like Grand Marnier.
- I am becoming intolerant of those that I think practice intolerance. What's that old saying? Show me what a man hates, I'll show you who he is.
- I do not want to go on any more bad dates. And so, after 12 years, I am letting go of my philosophy of always accepting a date when it's offered. My time is more valuable than I ever gave myself credit for.
- I am getting old. That's ok. Kind of. But I need to start using eye cream. Like the old proverb, "Trust in God, but lock your car."
- People do good things for all sorts of reasons, some of them bad...a lot of them bad. And sometimes the motive matters more than the result, sometimes the other way around. I just want to always be one of the people who does good things for good reasons.
- I now know how to hula hoop. I even own one of my own that someone made just for me. It's actually a good workout for the tummy muscles.
- I need to trust my instincts about people more often. With guys I date, but also with friends that I have. Life is too short to spend it with people who aren't good influences or who aren't healthy. I want to surround myself with people who challenge me, who make me think, who support me and who give me something to strive for.
- I don't like sitting at a desk all day. I like people. And movement. And variety.
- When I'm upset and someone says, "It'll be okay," that's quickly becoming one of my biggest pet peeves. It's just not always true. No one knows whether it is or not when they say it, they just say it so you'll stop saying 'it's not going to be ok.' I'm going to try not to say that anymore either. It's important to be creative and truthful.
- I am not going to be thin and small forever. Time to start working out again and beat down Father Time and his big ol' clock. And maybe have one less pint of Magic Hat #9 when I go to the bar.
- It's more important to be true to who you are than to be or say whatever you think people will like. I know that's so cliche, but I really have wasted too much time keeping my thoughts and opinions to myself and pretending to be someone I'm not. If people don't like me for me, then see #9 because they're not worth my precious precious time.
- People don't care enough about things that matter.
- As bad as things get, I can survive just about anything. Because eventually, in time, things will get better. And almost always they're better off than ever before.
- "Some people have all of life's answers worked out the day they're born and there's no use trying to teach them anything new. And trying to change what they think, the attempt to explain, the hope they'll come to see your side of things, it was exhausting, because it never made a dent and afterward you only ached unbearably."
- I know I am doing better than I think. But I still have lots more to learn. To be continued!