Saturday, July 29, 2006

To counter Ms. Dowd: Why Men Are Necessary

Do we really need men at all anymore? Sperm banks, advanced reproductive technology, the increasing opportunities available to women.

My good friend, A., and I joke often about being heterosexual life partners. I tell her that she's the best boyfriend I've ever had, she tells me how there's no man as good to her as me. We've named our children and designed their personalities in great detail. She decided I could birth them because, to quote her, I'd be 'better at that.' Everyone will enjoy our company and stimulating conversation. Constantly telliing each other, 'everyone will want us at their parties.'

'Are you going to the party on Saturday?'
'Eh. I'm not sure. Are A. and D. gonna be there?'

We'd be a hit. Basking in our superior companionship, we'd use men only for sexual pleasure.

Though they're good for lots of stuff. Putting Ikea crap together, opening jars, taking general care of ya, fixing your car, picking you up from the airport, they pick you up when you're feeling down, get all protective of you, aw I love my man friends, and I love that they spoil me rotten. I am adored. Thank you, sweet boys.

I live with a lesbian. She says that women are more emotional than men, which, I think everyone can agree is true. And so she enjoys the love of a woman infinitely more than that of a man. Men are frequently detatched, 'emotionally unavailable,' as the saying goes, and had difficulty expressing complex thoughts or feelings.

But when that man who normally struggles with articulating his emotions suprises me by poetically declaring his love, I melt. There is nothing like it. When a guy who's been methodical and careful suddenly lets go and lets you in, ooo aw. Or a guy who's reserved opens up about his feelings. Not that they need to be emotionally stunted to surprise me or make me sigh. I truly prefer a man who's open, honest and expressive and can say, "I want you."

And maybe men need us in that way. To help them see life's beauty, to help them understand the complicated colors and shapes of human emotions. And we need them for something too. In addition to sexual pleasure, of course.

I had a dream last night of my soulmate. That sounds odd, yes, and difficult to describe, so you'll just have to trust me. The reciprocity, the equality, the balance and the understanding between two souls so different in form and composition is one of the great divine miracles humans are allowed to be part of.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Rantings and Ravings

I just had a meeting with dignitaries from Saudi Arabia. It was my first meeting with international dignitaries and made me so happy that I came to DC! I was telling a friend about how cool it was to be a part of something like that and that it was one of the coolest things I've ever be able to do. And the friend said, "Really?"

Yes, really.

I really thought it was cool to be part of a discussion about human rights with members of the government of an entire country.

I am tired of people not caring about politics or the world we live in. Because let me tell you something, they care about you! Politics and history might be boring, and it may seem they don't directly affect your life, but in fact, they do. We are part of a global economy. We are affected by what happens in other parts of the world. And as human beings, we should care about these happenings.

I saw 'An Inconvenient Truth' last week. I explained to someone who had not heard of it that it was a film Al Gore made about global warming. The friend said, "Oh cool. So was he for it or against it?" Wha-huh?

Another friend of mine who is homosexual said to me during the 2004 that she didn't care who won or lost. She voted for someone because a good friend of hers told her to. Recently, with two new Supreme Court Justices appointed, I reminded her of that conversation. And told her that as a homosexual, she should care who won the presidential election because that President was able to appoint two justices, possibly a third (don't die, Stevens!), and those individuals could determine whether or not she is able to marry a woman one day.

I am a feeling person. A person with a lot of passion, enthusiasm and a big heart. That is why I care about politics and the world I am living in. Why do you care?

Monday, July 24, 2006

Hi, Have You Met My Boyfriend?

My mother used to nag me about marrying some guy who sat in front of her at church every Sunday. Some guy I've never had a conversation with or know at all. Nor has she. It broke her heart when he got a girlfriend. She said that his girlfriend and her mother started sitting with him in church every day and she said to me, "That could have been me!" Now, he's enaged. Aaron, I think, is his name. When I was talking to my mother this morning, she told me I shouldn't be so picky. Whereas I actually think that I shouldn't settle. That's something that has always been important to me. So in honor of Aaron the guy who sits in front of my mother at church getting engaged, I'd like to dedicate the following impossible list of perfection -

My boyfriend likes to watch bad scary movies on the couch with me at one in the morning.
My boyfriend likes to make cheese omelets for me for breakfast.
My boyfriend likes Tennessee football and at least watches baseball. He definitely says "Go Vols" and sings Rocky Top at games.
My boyfriend is nice to my dog and gives her all the attention she deserves.
My boyfriend likes the music in my iPod, and I like the music in his.
My boyfriend doesn't smoke. Ick.
My boyfriend thinks I'm cute when I'm drunk. "You're so cute when you're slurring your words, but they're closing the bar and they want us to leave..."
My boyfriend knows the band who sang the lyric I just quoted. And how awesome they are.
My boyfriend is not a Republican. Ick.
My boyfriend's a great kisser, and we really just can't keep our hands off each other.
My boyfriend reads the newspaper (ooo sometimes curled up with me!) and has intelligent things to say about it. And he absolutely knows what global warming is.
My boyfriend makes me laugh a lot.
My boyfriend loves my cooking. Maybe he likes to watch me cook, maybe he cooks with me, but he always helps with the dishes and sometimes has two helpings. Mmm!
My boyfriend is fun on road trips and always gets me Red Bull when we stop.
My boyfriend always makes time for me because he likes being near me.
My boyfriend and I do sexy things in fun, interesting places!
My boyfriend likes back scratches. And maybe head scratches too aw.
My boyfriend is not perfect, but he's perfect for me. And he is out there somewhere. Even if it's not on the pew in front of my mother at church. :P

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Growing Up

Getting older. Is that it? Sometimes I notice how jaded I've become, and it shocks me. Where did this come from? I don't recognize the person who has some of the thoughts that pop into my head. I've become so pessimistic, and it's involuntary. I do believe in love and magic and unicorns too (as my sweet friend Amanda always says!). I'm still idealistic and still believe that romance could be hiding just around the corner. But every once in awhile, I think about how impossible it seems to meet a person, go on a date and then years later, get married. How does that happen? And does it happen? It seems like such an impossible thing. Like ok, I 'could' win American Idol, but will I? No. It's possible, of course, but would never happen to me. Where did this ugly monster come from? And how do I get rid of it?

I don't spend as much time wondering about love and romance or other mystical creatures as I once did. I'm so happy now. I love my job, I feel like I matter. I love my friends and that I have so many. I love my apartment, my roommate, my new city home. And more importantly, I really love myself and have learned to stop trying to be someone else and stop making excuses. I like all the quirky things about me that I've been teased for in the past (affectionately and not so affectionately). And I'm just really enjoying my life right now.

Dating has become so complicated in the past few years. Everyone has so much baggage. And we're all starting to really hone in on what it is that we want, what we're looking for, and we've grown out of that 'putting up with crap' phase that lasted far too long.

I had the thought yesterday that launched me into this introspection. My cousin just got engaged, though, and maybe that's what led me to all this. I started thinking about how unrealistic it seemed that one date could ever lead to anything as huge and massive as marriage. They had a blind date. And two years later, they're engaged. It all seems almost hilarious to me. Like something I've seen on TV or in the movies. I mean, one day you have no idea that this person exists or maybe you do but you don't care, and then the next day, something happens and you never go another day without them. Isn't that just weird? And funny? Life is weird and funny.

So good for them. And good for everyone. I'll just sit by and enjoy playing 'the token single friend' role. I like who I am, and I like where I am in life. And in the end that's really what matters. And it's far from where I was this time last year. Besides, I'll know when I meet the guy I'm going to marry. Because he'll either be George from 'Grey's Anatomy' or Lloyd Dobbler from 'Say Anything.' And until that day comes, I'll enjoy the time I spend with them on the small screen in my living room. And enjoy every minute, I will!

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