Saturday, July 29, 2006

To counter Ms. Dowd: Why Men Are Necessary

Do we really need men at all anymore? Sperm banks, advanced reproductive technology, the increasing opportunities available to women.

My good friend, A., and I joke often about being heterosexual life partners. I tell her that she's the best boyfriend I've ever had, she tells me how there's no man as good to her as me. We've named our children and designed their personalities in great detail. She decided I could birth them because, to quote her, I'd be 'better at that.' Everyone will enjoy our company and stimulating conversation. Constantly telliing each other, 'everyone will want us at their parties.'

'Are you going to the party on Saturday?'
'Eh. I'm not sure. Are A. and D. gonna be there?'

We'd be a hit. Basking in our superior companionship, we'd use men only for sexual pleasure.

Though they're good for lots of stuff. Putting Ikea crap together, opening jars, taking general care of ya, fixing your car, picking you up from the airport, they pick you up when you're feeling down, get all protective of you, aw I love my man friends, and I love that they spoil me rotten. I am adored. Thank you, sweet boys.

I live with a lesbian. She says that women are more emotional than men, which, I think everyone can agree is true. And so she enjoys the love of a woman infinitely more than that of a man. Men are frequently detatched, 'emotionally unavailable,' as the saying goes, and had difficulty expressing complex thoughts or feelings.

But when that man who normally struggles with articulating his emotions suprises me by poetically declaring his love, I melt. There is nothing like it. When a guy who's been methodical and careful suddenly lets go and lets you in, ooo aw. Or a guy who's reserved opens up about his feelings. Not that they need to be emotionally stunted to surprise me or make me sigh. I truly prefer a man who's open, honest and expressive and can say, "I want you."

And maybe men need us in that way. To help them see life's beauty, to help them understand the complicated colors and shapes of human emotions. And we need them for something too. In addition to sexual pleasure, of course.

I had a dream last night of my soulmate. That sounds odd, yes, and difficult to describe, so you'll just have to trust me. The reciprocity, the equality, the balance and the understanding between two souls so different in form and composition is one of the great divine miracles humans are allowed to be part of.


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