Why I Should Be a Celebrity

I wouldn't say dumb or crazy shit. And neither would you. Actually, maybe that's why we're not celebrities. Dumb and crazy is interesting.



"I went in like a crop-duster with my nose flying first and snorted the cocaine off the dog. You get a little bugs, you get little hairs, you get grease and goo from the ground; it's not at all a healthy thing to do." - Gary Busey explaining how he reacted after accidentally spilling cocaine on his dog

"Do I have a large frog in my hair? Something's crawling out of my scalp. No, but I mean I feel it. I'm not worried about the looks. I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten." - Joaquin Phoenix being interviewed on the red carpet at a movie premiere

"Don't ever paint your boobs. Really. It sucked. I learned my lesson. I'm never gonna paint my boobs ever again. It's not worth it. Do not paint your boobs. It's a pain in...the boobs." - Kendra from The Girls Next Door...after she painted her boobs