Oh For Fuck's Sake.

Sorry for the swear. It seems to be my favorite word lately. So versatile, I love it. But don't tell my mom - she says ladies don't curse.

For fuck's sake! Are there no good guys left? I said a few months ago I don't want a boyfriend, and that's still true, but I was hoping to find someone nice and fun to entertain me for a spell. I stopped talking to Rocky a couple weeks ago because, well, it turned out he had the personality of a rock. The other guys I've met or dated since I got back from DC this summer, sadly, nothing fun there either. We all remember Captain Awkward. And there were a few lackluster one date wonders along the way. Some guy who got obsessed with texting me until I had to text that he was creeping me out.

And this really sweet lawyer, but he just wasn't right for me. Too bad cuz he was such a nice guy. I didn't realize it because we met in DC, but he actually lives in Richmond. We had a date when I visited DC a few months ago, and he drove all the way up to DC to have dinner with me! But...he isn't right for me. Doesn't it suck when a guy you're not into does something amazing?

And now Mountain Man. No - say it isn't so! He's hot, he's scruffy, he climbs giant boulders with his bare freaking hands. And sure, I noticed a few things that told me this wasn't going anywhere long term. Like all his annoying self-deprecating comments whenever he'd say something about me getting a PhD. I'm so over that. Why do guys have to make such a big deal about it? Maybe next time I'll just lie and say I teach kindergarten.

And he has a giant dragon tattoo across his back. Ha. Though that could be hot if I pretended he was a rock star. He also confessed on the phone last week that he never wants children. Well, he never wants his own children, he only wants to adopt. Which is nice and sweet, but definitely a deal breaker for this gal. I can't deny mankind - my genes would do a lot for this world.

I thought this was the perfect situation for me. I'm not looking for anything serious, nothing serious could come from us dating. Win, win. For me anyway. Plus, did I mention he's hot? Yum. But no, I can't even have a perfect meaningless fling.

We were on the phone the other day, and it comes out that the marketing company he owns is a start-up...which means it doesn't exactly exist. And now it really doesn't exist because they lost their investors. He mentioned he might commute to Alabama for a couple months because he could get work there renovating houses. Ok, not gonna impress Mom, but nothing intolerable.

Tonight we somehow get on the subject of religion. He mentioned a cross necklace I always wear. I've worn it for seven years, and it has a lot of meaning for me. He asked if I'm "churchy." Uh, ok. Then asks if I noticed the nuns in his house. "Nope, missed them." Apparently, he has two nun figurines praying to a dildo, which you know he finds totally cool and hilarious. Where do I find these clowns? And a dildo? What kind of guy has a dildo? The guy is 33. Act your age, dude. That didn't go over well with me, and I'm pretty sure he caught that.

So, another one bites the dust. And, after my post yesterday, I've been doing some thinking. Maybe I should stop playing around, stop trying to distract myself and actually spend some time alone processing everything that's happened in my life in the past several months. I was worried that after X, I wouldn't meet anyone that great again, but the way I've been acting lately, it's like I've given up. I haven't. I just need my Mojo back. I am officially breaking up with dating. It's gonna be a tough habit to kick, but I think I can do it.

Well, ok, except for kissing a random stranger on New Year's because that's what New Year's is all about. And I like kissing. I'm good at it. Oh, and of course if I meet any of my top 5 celebrities cuz that's always allowed...or you know, just some really good looking guy...no, seriously, I mean it...no more dating...oh for fuck's sake! This is gonna be hard!