Soul Meets Soul on Lovers' Lips

Ok. First. I love Grey's Anatomy. Bear with me for a moment, I promise the whole post's not about that.

I think it's the greatest show ever in the history of the world. It makes me feel and it makes me think, and it teaches me and makes me feel human. Alex has always been my favorite guy on the show. There's something compelling about someone so broken and yet so strong and honest who takes all of that and puts it into the love he shows for other people.

Izzy has always been my favorite girl, and the one that I identify with the most. I identify a lot with Meredith too because I get her commitment issues and how she reacts to it all. But Izzy I identify with because I see a lot of the qualities I like about myself in her. She's compassionate and understanding and idealistic and always tells the truth, even when it's hard. Plus, an astounding number of people have told me Katherine Heigl and I share mannerisms. Strange.

So I love seeing Alex and Izzy finally together. They're my favorite characters and now my favorite couple. I loved seeing their first real kiss a few episodes ago. But this post didn't start because of them. It started because of the kiss Christina and the hot army surgeon shared. Alex and Izzy shared a, "Wow we love each other," kiss and it was sweet and full of feeling while Christina and her guy had a steamy, intense lustful kiss. It all made me think about kissing.

I love kissing. It's so fun and yummy. JP asked me last weekend how many guys I've kissed in my lifetime, and I couldn't come up with a number if I tried. I did go through a silly phase in New York where I kissed practically every guy I met. Hence "The Kissing Bandit" nickname. Well-earned. It's funny how kissing is so different with each new person. And it's funnier how different kisses can be with the same person. Kisses change from moment to moment just as dramatically as from person to person.

There are the hungry kisses. Wild, white hot heat. You're clutching at everything, gasping for air, knees weak and stomach wobbly. That could all just come from an insane physical attraction or chemistry. It could also come after a fight or a breakup.

The "I love you" kisses are so sweet and warm. Your heart feels fuller every time. Your smile gets wider, and your step a bit lighter. These kisses make you lean and linger cuz when you love, you love with your whole body and soul, not just your lips.

Someone told me once that there are two types of kisses. The Neptune Kiss and the Ariel Kiss. The Neptune is mouth and tongue - deep tongue penetration. The Ariel is more mouth, mostly lip, starts off gentle and stays more on the surface with a few tongue flitters. Ok, I know this sounds ridiculous, but you also know exactly what I'm talking about. Supposedly you're more one type than the other. I know which I am, and I definitely notice when I'm dating a guy which of the two he prefers. I've also noticed that while it's possible to get a guy to kiss how you like to kiss, it still isn't his preference or his style. And I can totally tell when that's happening. It's not as good as it is when you find someone who kisses exactly the way you kiss.

Tonight, yes while watching Grey's Anatomy, I was thinking about all the different types of kisses there are. The Neptune and the Ariel, but also the hungry kisses, the love kisses, the new kisses, the goodbye kisses, the everyday kisses...My point is that kisses say so much. They are their own unique form of communication.

As I watched Christina and Army Guy in their hot kiss, I thought about the hottest kisses I've ever had. I wondered if the kiss felt hot to me because I was hot for the guy or really liked him. Or if it was that I felt hot because he felt so hot for me, and I was reading his feelings. But then I realized that, of course, I don't always feel what he feels when we kiss, and vice versa, because I'm sure there have been times when I was bored to tears but the guy thought it was the hottest kiss ever. It's not about what I'm communicating or what he's communicating. The best kisses are the ones when we're aligned, when we're so connected that we're feeling, communicating and understanding the same message.

I was talking to Lass the other day about how hard it is for people to understand each other. I said that it's frustrating when I say "Red" and my friend hears "Blue" or hears "Red" but thinks even though I said "Red," I really meant "Blue." I'm a good communicator, and I use my words carefully and precisely. But kisses transcend words. A good kiss is not just when I say "Red" and he hears and gets "Red." It's when I communicate a very specific, very detailed shade of red, and that's exactly what he's understanding and feeling too.

Good kisses are perfect, wordless moments of communication clarity. It's breathtaking and amazing when someone understands and knows your soul, and the best kisses do just that.