Sunday, July 13, 2008

If You Build It, They Will Come.

I have a break-up routine. It’s been perfected over time because God knows, I’ve been through more than a handful. What? I learn by mistakes.

The first really bad one set the routine. The Firestarter dumped me. And there is no other word than that – dumped. It’s hilarious to think about now and has become a really funny story, but eee gads was I inconsolable at the time. It wasn’t even that I loved him or missed him so much. It was he dumped me?!?!?

After that break-up, I got my hair cut and colored so I looked and felt like a whole new woman. I went shopping and bought new underwear for the next guy. And I redecorated. I also lost weight because I was so sad and stressed, I couldn’t eat. That has since been dubbed “the break-up diet.” Oh, and I always have to watch The Notebook. Ridiculous, I know, but it makes me feel better because whatever I just lost wasn't a big love, and it makes me hope that I'll have one eventually.

It’s been a few months since the last break-up, and this one really wasn’t bad at all. It was over for a long time before I finally ended it so it was really anti-climatic. I just knew for…3 months about, that it wasn’t right. And that’s ok. I took a chance and a risk, and I gave it my all. And had a great time too, learned a lot about myself and about what I need in a relationship and a partner.

I did, however, still get my hair cut and colored. Went shopping. And bought some great new undies. I have the sweetest little matching bra and panties set. Very lacy and sexy. With the tags still on, just waiting for me to wear them for the first time so someone can rip them off. Mmm…

But here’s what clenches it this time. I just bought a new mattress. Well, let’s be honest, Mom bought it for me. A queen-sized pillow top. It’s decadent and yummy. Hel-lo, lov-ver.

And it'll really be a whole new bed because I have to buy new sheets and a new duvet since everything I have now is for my old, lumpy full. I think this new mattress and new bedroom is a good sign. All the evidence and mojo from all my previous relationships is going out with the trash, and I’m starting with a literal clean slate. The way I see it – if you build it, they will come. Eventually, right? I’m paving the way for someone special. I have been for awhile, I think.

It’s a nice mattress, fancy lingerie, my hair has never looked better, and really I’ve never been better. So I’ll be extra choosy about which handsome man to break in the new mattress with. I have a feeling it’ll all be worth the wait.


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