Friday, August 29, 2008

Nothing Worth Having Ever Comes Easy

I just saw the best romantic comedy that I’ve seen in a long time. And when I tell you what it is, you’re not gonna believe me. It looked so stupid and so bad. Are you ready? Don’t laugh! What Happens in Vegas But it was so good!!

I love Cameron Diaz, I idolize her in a weird little way because in my mind she is the absolute perfect female. But Ashton Kutcher? Ech. No. Not cute, not that funny, and I don’t believe him when he smiles. But this movie was great! I loved it. It had me cracking up, and I don’t think the two glasses of wine I had at dinner had anything to do with it either.

As I was watching it, I was thinking that I just loved his character. And then I started wondering why. It’s because he’s such a guy’s guy, and I love guy’s guys. I love a man who loves his sports, would rather be drinking beer than anything else (and if he has anything else it’s something country and manly like whiskey), has idiotic, hilarious friends, and is slightly weird but really funny and charming. A guy that doesn’t cry or pout, teases me a little, playfully argues with me, yet always gets the door and does the little, chivalrous things. He might watch a chick flick with me because he loves me, but he makes fun of it too.

Really, I’m looking for a guy that’s like all my favorite guys. My sweet cousin who I adore, my other cousin’s sweet husband who always has me smiling and cackling, and my sweet friend, Goofer, who is the absolute funniest person I know. Goofer is great. And he takes good care of me. I’ve been pretty down lately, and the other day he left me the best message I have ever gotten. He played that Kermit the Frog song, “The Rainbow Connection,” on my voicemail. So random and goofy and thoughtful too. He definitely made sure I had a big smile on my face.

Isn’t it annoying when you think you have it all figured out and you know exactly what the best match for you would be, but you just can’t find them? Everyone in my family thinks I’m too picky. Ev-ery-one. From my Papaw on down. They always tell me I’m always the one who breaks up with the guy. Which, alright, is maybe true more often than not, but I’ve also had my heart broken enough times.

And, I don’t know, why be with someone once you’ve figured out they aren’t the one? That’s why we date someone, right? I mean, there are all the Gong Show contestants where you just know instantly it’s not gonna work. And then every once in awhile you find someone and think, “Well…I don’t know…maybe…” So you give it a shot. But when you realize it’s not a fit, you end it.

This is a depressing thought, but I’ve spent many long hours alone in the car over the past few weeks so forgive me. I figured out that I can pinpoint the exact moment in each relationship where I realized he wasn’t the one for me. The. Exact. Moment. I told you it was depressing. But it gets worse – I can’t pinpoint the exact moment I realized I loved any of them. I think that’s something that I just gradually realize. Or maybe when he says it out loud, I realize I love him too? I don’t know. I do know that I never say it first.

It sounds so nice and lovely to meet someone, instantly connect, start dating and never stop. Though I’ve tried that a time or two, I always seem to lose interest. One of my best friends got engaged recently to a guy she’s been dating for six months. On the third date, they talked about how they each knew this was it, they found their someone. Third date! And they’re happy and doing well and la dee da.

I don’t think I could ever do that. I always take relationships slowly. I’m guarded because at this point, I feel like you have to be. It’s just smart. My last boyfriend pursued me for two whole years, almost to the day, before I finally gave in. Two years! There were good reasons for turning him down for so long, but it also always takes time for me to commit and open up fully. Why would I close off all my other options for a guy I’m not totally sure is long term quality?

Right now, I'm talking to someone. We're only emailing. And every once in awhile, it's a little annoying because he has my phone number but has never called. But then I think this is actually the best thing for me right now. To move as slowly as possible. In fact, I'd kinda like it if we went a couple months without even going out. I need a lot of time to myself right now. And it's just always better when you get together with someone after you actually know them.

In the movie, they got married after knowing each other for a few hours, but after living together for six months, fell in love aw. They made each other miserable before they realized they made each other happy. Cute. I definitely need someone who challenges me, that is without a doubt. And isn’t it just better when you move slowly? Like easing into a cold swimming pool, one step at a time. For me, time makes all the difference in securing someone a place in my heart and a few obstacles thrown in there too makes the happy ending that much sweeter because that’s how we both realize how much we mean to each other.

It’ll at least be a good plot for the movie they make out of our story. Cuz it will be that good. That much I know. It may take a lot for me to fall for someone, but this girl loves with everything she is, and when it happens, the poor sap is really stuck with me.


The Alleged Ringleader said...

It was SO GOOD! I rented it with two different friends and once myself. I loooovvveddd it!

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