Tuesday, February 13, 2007

We're Just Looking for Our Lobsters

As I’ve grown up, I’ve noticed, especially in the past couple of years, that I’ve gotten more sure of what I want and asserting myself has gotten easier. I still struggle with a lot of the trials of my youth – insecurities, fear, doubt – and I’ve started to realize that those I may never outgrow. Those might just be part of the human condition.

Being more certain of my wants and finding it easier to demand them has led me, and my peers, to a predicament. I know what I want. I’m not afraid to ask for it. And I’m not going to settle for less. But what happens when what you want can’t be found?

And so you’ve got this dilemma. What you want, you can’t find. You made a promise to always assert yourself…but those unfulfilled desires and urges are getting stronger. Which gives in first? Do you settle for less because your hunger pangs got worse? Or do you stand strong in your principles and live each day with unsatisfied longings? And who says it has to come to all that anyway? Why can't it just work out?

The movies say that people can live happily ever after. The passion of a sonnet lasts forever. A musician sings a beautiful love story. And Ross ended up with Rachel in the end. Cuz she was his lobster.

But the wait to find that crustacean is long. Some kill time by adding to what they want, to that long list of "qualifications" and "requirements" without even meaning to. Because you’re learning more and more each day, and you have nothing to apply those concepts to and no ways to test those theories. Others find themselves settling because they’ve waited for so long, they've reached their limit and cave in desperation.

I made a promise to my uncle that I would never settle. And it’s a promise I intend to keep. It’s a promise that all the strong-minded, independent women I know have made and are keeping. So right now…when the waiting is becoming unbearable…we’re fighting hard not to give up hope that holding true to our principles will eventually give us great rewards.

After all, we were taught all those fairy tales, and the goodies were always rewarded in the end. But before that, Snow White had to hibernate, so did Sleeping Beauty. While Cinderella was slaving away and Rapunzel was locked away. Those gals went through hell. Maybe that’s the lesson we were supposed to get out of those stories to begin with…go through hell, get your prince.

Even Ross and Rachel had a tough time before they ended up in each other's arms...or lobster claws.

We can never give up.


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