Saturday, June 14, 2008

Forget the Real Girl. Who's the Real Lars?

I just saw Lars and the Real Girl. It was so good. I laughed through most of it because it was just so out there and absurd, but it had a serious message and now here I am sitting at home thinking about it. I think that everyone acts like Lars sometimes.

He had in his mind what the perfect girl would be like. What she'd look like, where she'd be from, what her childhood was like, everything. But she started to take on a life of her own, and he had to realize that who he had imagined wasn't exactly what he wanted after all. We all do that, don't we?

We think we know what we want, what we're looking for, but then when we find it, it isn't quite what we thought it'd be and it doesn't feel like it was supposed to. And then we're left alone again, usually. Because our life's not like a movie where the fairy tale ending arrives just in time to cushion the fall of our heart. And the fact is that it's hard being alone. That's why we invent people, why we try things we know in our heart of hearts that aren't right or won't fit. Because even if it feels good for a little while, it's better than the reality.

Poor Lars. He really just wanted someone to care about him. Someone who wanted to know everything about him, who wouldn't abandon him but would be there for him. Someone to make him feel like everybody else for once in his life.

It's so hard to find what we're looking for because we're usually looking in all the wrong places. We think we know, but we're wrong. We're delusional and see only what we want to see, what fits with the reality that we've created. But we end up finding our way eventually. Everyone takes a different walk to get there, and it takes some people longer than others. But eventually we sort out the mess that is who we are, and once we've created that to be the most solid foundation, I think all the other things just find us where we're at and just fall into place.

We find "the real girl." Whether "the real girl" is the right career path, the right home, the right partner, the right friends. We just have to be clear on who we are first. And maybe that's what set us off in the wrong direction to begin with. Looking outside when we should have been looking in. Then again, if we're just totally clueless, there's always the internet.


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