Thursday, March 8, 2007

Out There in '07

Around the first of the year, I decided that maybe I wasn't putting myself out there like I should. I felt like I was clinging too much to failed relationships of the past and unrealistic expectations for the future. And I came up with a little slogan - "Out There in '07!"

It kind of goes along with the new year's resolution of a good friend so it's something we shout out to each other, a kind of call to action or mantra. Usually slurred out loudly around closing time, but also serves as a reminder to keep the faith, keep putting in the effort.

I think in some way this attitude change has really helped me. I think I'm sending out a different vibe, and it's working. I've been on a lot of dates in the past few months. Even dated one guy for a month. A couple days ago, I had a first date with a guy I met two weeks ago. We'd talked on the phone a few times, and I could just tell that I wasn't into him. I was really grumpy the day of the date, didn't want to go, knew I didn't like him, plus it was snowing and I just wanted to stay home. But my friend, my spotter if you will, told me I needed to give him a shot and not make up mind so quickly, a good pep talk, you know. Then I started thinking maybe I was give guys the ax before giving them a fair chance. So I went. And it was a disaster. And I wish I'd stayed at home.

I learned a lesson from all of that, though. To trust my instincts. I'm not as messed up as I might think I am sometimes. I'm not trying to shoot myself in the foot - sometimes I actually do know what's best for me. And also, being "out there" doesn't mean going on a date with every guy that asks. I can get rid of that rule now. And stop wasting my time with guys I'm not interested in. I'd much rather be curled up with my sweet puppy than out on the town with some weirdo dude.

"Out There in '07" is a state of mind. Not a required set of actions. And I am out there. Dangit.


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