Saturday, March 10, 2007

My Portion

I am so content right now it's eerie. Suspiciously so. I just feel so centered and grounded and so aware of every moment.

I look back sometimes at these silly posts and remember what was happening in my life when I wrote each one. If anyone reads this (ok, besides the 3 people that do), they would have no idea the context of each reflection or commentary. But it's so much better when you can color in the background.

I have watched myself grow up. It's such an amazing thing to be able to notice. Hurrah. Progress! And I've watched my friends grow up too, which is truly beautiful. It's a rare and special thing that I have so many close friends that I've known for such a long time. I really treasure our history.

I've seen them graduate, choose careers, find success, marry, even become a parent. We've made mistakes together and helped each other move on. Even despite distance because, sadly, all my best friends do not live in one area. But we manage. I know that there are a handful of good people that I could call no matter what time, day or night. When they get married, I'm there no matter what. When my friend had her child, I flew home and met the sweet baby when she was just hours old. We go to funerals to support each other and throw parties to celebrate each other. I just could not make it through life's big moments without these people, and I am so incredibly blessed to have so much love in my life.

And so I'm content. I don't really care, for the first time in my life, if I ever marry or find someone. In fact, I rather like being single and hope I stay single for a long while. I'm just so happy in my life, I really can't imagine anything else coming into it. And I really don't want anything to. My cup overflows. I have enough.

There's a Bible verse I like, somewhere in Psalms, that says God is my portion. Yes, God is my portion. And my friends and family are my portion too. Exactly the right amount of sustenance and substance. I am content.


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