Monday, October 16, 2006

Time for DC to Get A Makeover

Ok, people of DC, get it together. Watch a little of the Style Network or E! during the CNN or MSNBC commercial breaks. Read a fashion magazine every few months to keep up with the times. At least visit New York or Frace or Italy. Take a vacation to sunny California. I mean, I get that you're really busy and focused on saving the world, but can't you save it while lookin' good?

For example...

Don't wear white socks with your dress shoes or boots.
Throw away those nasty clogs - they went out of style in the 90's!
Don't wear hose with sandals.
Stop wearing pants that come up to your belly button.
Baggy clothes - yuck.
The same hairstyle for the past ten or twenty years? Yuck!
Suits come in more colors than blue.

I saw a woman today wearing a shirt with big huge bright blue and purple flowers. I felt like I was in Florida. And I'm really tired of seeing men with cell phones clipped to their belt. And women showing off their muffin tops. Ew.

And seriously, people, have you ever heard of a shoe store? Walk in one once a year, why don't ya?

Have a little fun, Capital! All those dudes back in the day knew how to cut loose. And I bet their big white wigs and goofy ass tights were all the rage. Some may think that those old guys were just portrayed in paintings wearing the fashions of the day, but were really on the hit list of the fashion police.

We may never know the truth, but I give them the benefit of the doubt. They spruced up this swamp and made a kickass city out of it so I think they had to be chic and stylish to give a wetland an extreme home makeover. Hollaback to our fashionable founding fathers, and go buy a balloon skirt, some leggings and knee boots. At least so I can have something more pleasing to the eyes on the Metro.


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