Wednesday, September 6, 2006

Growing Pains. Ouch.

I've said many times that I think this is a tough time period in life. I'm not sure when it ends. It seems like you get spit out of college into the real world and face so many new problems and are forced to make so many decisions. Maybe when I hit 30, I'll have it all figured out? I don't know.

As I've gone through my own individual changes - trying to figure out where I want to live, what I want to do, should I go back to school, what kind of guy should I date, etc. - I've also noticed my close friends' lives changing. Almost all of them are in serious relationships either planning their wedding or planning to wed one day. And that has altered some of the way that we interact. We obviously can't talk as often because when you're in a serious commited relationship, you have someone that you need to spend a lot of quality time with. And that's okay. Perfectly reasonable and understandable. One of my close friends had a baby, and for awhile, we hardly talked because she had this incredible new person who needed her time and attention. And what a gift that has been in her life, and also in mine by watching my friend grow and change in this way.

What I never expected, though, was in all these life changes that all of us are experiencing, we would grow apart. I feel like I've lost a few friends this year. It's hard. I don't know if I've done something wrong, and sometimes I worry that I have. But in the end, I think that we're all changing so much, it's hard to change with someone and not change in different ways that separate you from one another. How do you find friends (especially a spouse) who you can change with instead of change away from?

I really don't like the 20's. Growing pains are just that - pains, painful. I am grateful, though, for the good, close friends I do have that I have grown with through the years. And I look forward to the new friends that I will acquire as I move into new parts of life. Maybe there's a BFF just waiting for me out there, but we won't meet til we're neighbors in the same nursing home! I hope so. But I also hope I'm sharing that room with a good friend who's a part of my life now. Old friends, in my opinion, are still best as long as they're close.


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