Friday, September 22, 2006

A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

I like the Rolling Stones. I saw them in concert with my mother almost exactly a year ago. She dressed up. You know, just in case Mick Jagger saw her. I want to be kooky like her one day. Some might say I'm well on my way. Those who know me well.

Family is funny like that. There's family that is perfect for you that you didn't pick out, like my crazy momma. There's family that is perfect for you that you did pick out like my good friend Liz who I heard a lot about and kept thinking, 'That girl sounds cool. I want to meet her. I want to be her friend.' And then there are friends that you don't pick, but are still perfect for you. Like my sweet friend Kate who got married a few days ago. Kate and I met on the street in Athens, Georgia. I always tell her it's my favorite chance encounter.

So what about that other family? The family member that I haven't met yet. He's a pretty important guy. Not just because he gets to be with me, but because he will be the person I start a family with. Gotta pick out a good guy so my kids are good kids and are raised in a good environment. Maybe it'll be a chance encounter. But even so, there will be a lot of thinking involved in picking him.

Back to the Rolling Stones. 'You can't always get what you want. But if you try, sometimes you just might find, you get what you need.' A lot of thought goes into picking the right mate, the right partner. And I have put plenty of thought into what I want. There's a blurry line, though, between what you want and what you need. There's a silly list, longer than the one I've previously included here, and that's a good place to start.

But what do I need? That is a daily process. And some things overlap. A lesson I learned not too long ago is that I need to really want my man. It's a lesson that I can see surfacing up in the past several years, but not one I noticed until recently. I've always known that I need a man who is patient because I am not patient. I need a man not easily angered and one not quick to yell because I don't deal with anger very well and get very upset by it.

I need someone supportive, kind, appreciative, affectionate and someone who makes me laugh. I need someone who reads me when I'm holding back or holding in because what's in wants out. I need a man who is a good communicator and who is expressive and open with his thoughts and feelings. But there are so many other things I want and need that I don't even know about. It's a learning process. And always is, I'd say, even when you've found that someone because nothing in life is ever perfect.

Which brings me back to needs and wants. Wanting to be what I want and what I need is something I want and need but it isn't enough. Wanting to be with someone who isn't what I need is just as ineffectual as being with someone who is everything I need but still don't want.

You can't always get what you want. But if you try, sometimes you just might find, you get what you need. I think the point in there is the trying and the not knowing. I don't know, but I'm gonna try. And maybe, while I'm trying to figure it all out, another chance encounter will give me something wonderful and unexpected. Because, as the Stones say, 'I am waiting, waiting for someone to come out of somewhere.'


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