Tuesday, April 13, 2004


I'm currently working on a final project for one of my classes. The project is on the television show "Sex and the City" and discusses the media images and messages that encapsulate the program. So many feminists criticize the show for reinforcing the idea that single women want men and desire marriage. They think that shows like that and movies like "Bridget Jones' Diary" are confirming the belief that women are nothing without men and spend their whole lives thinking about men and trying to figure out how to catch one.

I disagree with that analysis. I am a feminist and believe that women should be strong and independent, but at the same time, I am a single person who hopes to find love and get married one day. I think it is the most natural human urge. Whether you believe there is a religious purpose in seeking out a mate or if you believe that biologically species want to copulate and produce offspring in order to further the species, it is undeniable that human beings want to pair up.

The real issue at the heart of this controversy is the delicate balance of never letting this natural desire take control over your life or dictate the choices you make. Everyone likes the idea of "soulmates," but not everyone ends up married or stays married. The way that women can achieve this balance is by clinging to one another, and I believe that that is the message "Sex and the City" attempts to get across to its audience. Life is hard, but love from a man is not the only way you can survive. Hold onto one another, hold onto your close girlfriends, and you will never feel alone.

At this moment in my life I am recognizing the reality that I may never get married and that fairy tales do not exist. I will be 25 soon, which to me, feels like a milestone. I have survived for a quarter of a century. It is truly an accomplishment to look back at my experiences and the lessons I have learned. I think I'm doing allright so far. It's also getting a bit intimidating when I wonder about the next 25 years.

What will happen? Will I ever find someone? Will I get married and have a family of my own? These are not the only questions, mind you, I am certainly wondering about the career path I will take and what city I will choose as the backdrop for my life. I think, however, that the most important component in a happy, fulfilled life is friends. My birthday wish for my 25th year, and for all the years that have yet to come, is that my life will be full of soulmates. Full of close friends who love and support me and will always be there, no matter what. As Charlotte said to Carrie, Miranda, and Samantha, "Maybe we can all be each other's soulmates."

Thursday, April 8, 2004

Unify and attack!

So I feel like finally I can now understand the phrase "reaching the bottom of the barrel." Well, that one and also "all the good ones are taken." I mean, is it possible to have realistically reached this point at the age of 25? Isn't that a little too young to be confronted with these harsh realizations?

I'm being honest, though, I think they just get worse and worse as I get older. Even meeting new people and seeing the potential that I have to choose from is disheartening. One of my friends had a date with a guy who gave her a gift when he showed up to take her out. Sounds nice, right? It was a large metal tin filled with three kinds of popcorn. What is the world coming to?

Someone met me out for a drink wearing black sweatpants and a tee shirt with the sleeves ripped off. Another guy, a friend of one of my friend's, spent an evening flirting with me only to end it by asking, not for my phone number or if he could take me to dinner sometime, but by literally saying, "Wanna come home with me and fuck around?" A third guy met my friends and I out to watch a ballgame. He seemed so nice. So fun. So interested in getting to know my friends. Then he accompanied one of my guy friends to the bathroom where he promptly asked my friend for a Vicitin that my friend was taking for a broken arm.

What is the world coming to? And those are just the freaks I've encountered out in this dark dating world. Popcorn tins, sweatpants, and pill-poppers - is that all there is?

I mean, I know there are nice guys. I'm friends with some, I've dated some. But there are also boring guys, guys that are obsessed with work, guys who are commitment phobes, guys that have physical deformities...What? I'm just saying...

Ok, ladies, we talk and talk all day about sisterhood and solidarity, but now's the time to take action. When you happen upon one of these freaks, help us all out. Label him. Literally. We'll all stash some maximum strength sleeping pills in our purses which we can use to drug them. Or Rufies, why not, they use them on us? And then we'll take them into our bedrooms where we have secret tatoo tools hidden and we'll tatoo their heads with words like "Loser" or "Freak" or "Stay Away." What are the men gonna do? Lock us all up?

Do it in the name of sisterhood! Do it in the name of survival! And then once we have all the appropriate fools labelled systmatically......we'll fight tooth and nails for the good ones that are left. Sounds like a great plan to me.

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